Origins of an American Classic

So, we have this plastic cereal bowl for Bella that has a built-in straw (I always thought that drinking your cereal milk was nasty so I don't understand that, but Bella loves it). Anyway, I think I figured out how the rattail came to be. You know what I'm talking about...the stupid new kids on the block had them, but I couldn't find a good picture of it. So, if you take your normal bowl haircut and use this straw bowl instead like so:

and you get a perfect rattail like this:

Act now and get a free meat lovers pizza.

Way Back Wednesday

Since I got called on the 20 comment thing, I guess I'd better post something. For starters, I thought I'd get in on this way back wednesday thing...



This was an awkward stage for me. I didn't have many friends, I was pretty underdeveloped, and I basically just hung out with my mom. Pretty pathetic, huh? I did end up eventually developing limbs and even a third nipple (another story) and got myself out of that tiny living space (it didn't even have a bathroom), but it was a tough nine months. Good thing I'm not claustrophobic.

Happy Birthday Sarah!!

So, today is Sarah's birthday. She is not as old as me and not as young as she was yesterday. I hope everyone wishes her a happy birthday today and that she has a great day. I told the kids to take it easy on her today, so we'll see how that goes. Anyway, Happy Birthday, Sarah! You're the best, and I appreciate everything you do for me and the monsters. You are awesome! I love you!

Hooray for America

I don't know who I'm voting for in the Presidential Primaries yet. I'm not voting for Mitt Romney just because he's a member of the same church that I am (I never would have voted for Harry Reid...that's for dang sure). But Mitt gave an awesome speech today and didn't back down from what he believes. Read this article by Pat Buchanan. Mitt sounds like a president that this country needs, I think.

This was the last part of his speech..."Recall the early days of the First Continental Congress in Philadelphia, during the fall of 1774. With Boston occupied by British troops, there were rumors of imminent hostilities and fears of an impending war. In this time of peril, someone suggested that they pray. But there were objections. They were too divided in religious sentiments, what with Episcopalians and Quakers, Anabaptists and Congregationalists, Presbyterians and Catholics.
Then Sam Adams rose, and said he would hear a prayer from anyone of piety and good character, as long as they were a patriot. And so together they prayed, and together they fought, and together, by the grace of God, they founded this great nation.
In that spirit, let us give thanks to the divine author of liberty. And together, let us pray that this land may always be blessed with freedom's holy light. "

Amen, brother.

In other news, a grade A jumbo egg was found dead today on the counter with multiple fractures to his shell. Police say that the message "eat more chikn" was written in yolk next to the body, and rumors of a mob hit by the cows on the chik-fil-a billboards have been circulating.

Warning: graphic image

Ding fries are done

So, since some of you haven't heard this before...here is one of my favorite Christmas songs. I heard it on the Dr. Demento radio show back in the day. Haven't found that show on the radio in a long time. Anyway, I used to sing this to my sisters, since they both worked at Burger King. While I'm here, I had an idea...I'm going to write six things that you might not know about me. This idea just came to me.

1. I am full of crap. Okay, most of you know this by now. I always have to try to be funny. I get bored otherwise. Sarah laughs at my jokes sometimes, so that's good. I like to think of myself as a funny guy.

2. I'm a schizophrenic...and so am I. haha. That's from "What about Bob?". #2 is actually that I played the clarinet from 5th grade through part of college. I was pretty darn good. I hated marching season, though. I would still like to play in an orchestra someday. I love music, and I want to start playing again so that my kids will love music too.

3. Words I live by: "Don't do today what you can put off till tomorrow." This isn't something I am proud of. I've fought it all my life, but it's been a tough battle. I'm not what you'd call a "go-getter", or what my wife would call "any help at all". I do try, though, and sometimes I'll surprise ya. Not today, though. Maybe tomorrow...

4. Apparently the only way I don't snore at night is if I lie on my left side. Unfortunately the only way I don't fart at night is if I lie on my right side. Pick your poison Sarah. Mwah haha

5. One of my favorite movies of all time is UHF, with Weird Al. I know that none of you would have probably guessed that, but it's true. I love the part where Conan the Librarian slices this kid in half for having overdue library books.

6. I actually could probably go to 106 on these little tidbits, but I don't want to bore anyone. When I was in Brazil, clapping in front of houses "you don't knock on doors there", I got this parasite in my leg. It was called "verme de cachorro" or dog worm. It burrowed it's way around my leg just under my skin. It went on for awhile because the first doctor I went to thought it was allergies and essentially gave me some hydrocortizone cream. This doesn't kill parasites apparently, so before I got the right medicine, my leg looked like a bright red spider web from my knee to my ankle. Pretty cool stuff.

Okay, that's six things about me. Maybe you guys should try doing this too. Let's see if my idea catches on.