This is Crazy Ernie. The recession has really affected his sales lately. Listen to his innovative approach to drum up some business.
"If nobody comes down here and buys a car in the next hour, I'm gonna club this baby seal. That's right! I'm gonna club this seal to make a better deal. You know I'll do it, too, cause I'm crazy. "
Will he do it? Maybe you should head on down to make sure he doesn't do something too crazy.
If you haven't seen UHF, you are missing out. It's kind of dumb, but not as dumb as some of the movies that win awards, and it's funny (unlike poo in your mailbox).
Monday, March 9, 2009
Flashback to the 1989 blockbuster, UHF
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Heaven on Earth
I stumbled upon this hidden gem while trying to find the girls a place to stay in Rexburg.
Designed with pleasure and relaxation in mind, these fantasy themed suites are great for everyone. Whether you are on your honeymoon, out for your anniversary, on a business trip, or even a trip with the kids*, we are sure that you will enjoy the amenities these rooms have to offer.
In-room complimentary yogurt (no cool whip?), juice, popcorn and water (what? no Dr. Pepper? the perfect aphrodisiac)
Complimentary breakfast buffet each morning in the breakfast area including homemade Belgian waffles, biscuits & gravy, fresh fruit and much more (hope they have Corn Pops. Gotta have my Pops)
Each suite offers a different two-person whirlpool jetted spa (nice to know you don't share with the other couples or families* from the other suites), microwave, refrigerator, and DVD player with surround sound. Bring your favorite music to set the mood.
Here are the different suites available:
Blink twice and you may miss the ancient sunset sky awaiting you in the Mayan Suite. The primitive jungle drumbeat echoes at the base of a majestic Aztec temple lit by the brilliant warmth of a stone fireplace. Entice your sweetheart to give or receive a massage on a luxurious state-of-the-art massage table or relax under a rich jaguar throw. To top off the evening unwind in a luxurious jetted tub.
Featured Amenities:
27" TV
King size bed
Fireplace
Massage table
Find your equilibrium in the exotic Zen garden Suite as you inhale the rich cedarwood scent of the Orient. Let your imagination lift your body and soul to enlightenment. Meditation isn’t your only option in this vacation to the Far East - experience all the bliss of the ancient tradition of the oriental bathhouse with the invigorating pleasure of a jetted tub.
Featured Amenities:
45" TV
Queen size bed
Extra large jetted whirlpool tub
One step further than Cloud Nine (Outer Space)
Listen closely to the sound of……nothing, but the two of you sharing a incredibly superlative evening on the most romantic planet in the heavens…planet (fill-in-the blanks)!! Feeling as though you could float away at any moment, let light and texture envelope your senses. Take a big dip in your own cosmic spa and gaze up into a twinkling galaxy of lights and constellations. This galactic suite will have you applauding one giant leap for mankind.
Featured Amenities:
45" TV
King size bed
Small curtain fountain
600 fiber optics in the ceiling in the form of the constellations
Let the accordions play your song as you sweep down the Grand Canals in a gondola built for two. During your sunset retreat to Venice, don’t forget to kiss your sweetheart while sailing under the famous Rialto Bridge. View St Mark’s Square from a distance and wrap yourselves in history. Cobblestone streets, gurgling fountains, rich murals and love await you in this city of A’more.Featured Amenities:
32" TV
Queen size bed in a gondola under the famous Rialto Bridge
Fountain
You can almost hear the monkeys and elephants pushing back the foliage around your canvas tent. As though Ernest Hemingway himself were leading a Victorian-era hunting safari, you have been transported to the lush jungles of Kilimanjaro. Your “jungle suite” comes complete with a romantic canopied bed and jetted tub, dazzling murals, rich mahogany furniture and a warm fire. We invite you to awaken your senses in this tent built for two.Featured Amenities:
27" TV
Fireplace
English water closet
Queen size canopy bed
As your Knight-in-shining-armor lowers your feet to the rough hewn floor in the Medieval Suite, you feel as though you’ve been transported to another time.Flickering wall sconces light the stone castle walls, heavy wooden thrones, magnificent tapestries and rich velvet that await royal guests in this grand suite. Don’t resist the urge to share a fur throw in front of the fire, after you’ve bathed in a mystically filled jetted tub. Let the majestic luxury of nobility go straight to your heads as your douse yourselves in regency for an evening or two.Featured Amenities:
32" TV
Fireplace
King size bed
Lion head fountain
Roll in shower - handicapped accessible
The serene seclusion of a sweet rainforest beckons you from every root and mossy limb of the pristine beauty of the Emerald Lagoon.Glistening waterfalls and abundant foliage invite you to relax in a private rock-carved pool for two as the peaceful sounds of exotic wildlife wash over you like a cool ocean breeze. Snuggle beneath dense leafy canopies and let the forest envelop you with the sultry shower of rain. You’ll find many surprises awaiting your arrival to your own private lagoon.Featured Amenities:
32" TV
Round king size bed
Experience your own waterfall as the whirlpool in this room fills from the ceiling
Curtain waterfall surrounds Whirlpool
Friday, March 6, 2009
Important things
This is a funny show that is on Comedy Central. Every episode is about one specific subject. This one is about brains.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Man Given Points For Trying Increases Total Trying Points To 643,457
GRAND PRAIRIE, TX—After a failed attempt to surprise his family with a nacho dinner Friday, James Kirchmann, 29, was given 16 points for trying by his wife, Sarah, thereby increasing his running total of trying points to 643,457. "I told him you have to grate the cheese before you put it on the chips, or else it doesn't cook right," Mrs. Kirchmann said. "At least he put in the effort." The failed nacho dinner follows a lifetime of attempts that have earned Kirchmann points for trying, including failing to allemande right during square dancing in sixth-grade gym class, hitting his head on the diving board while screwing up an inward 1 ½ somersault in the tuck position, botching his attempt to keep squirrels out of the attic, incorrectly assuming that his wife wouldn’t want that last peanut covered frozen chocolate Drumstick, and trying to dress his two daughters for church. "To this day I just can't allemande to the right. And you can forget about the half promenade," lamented the balding, overweight father of two. Kirchmann is currently trying to save up the 750,000 trying points needed to get a Spongebob Squarepants keychain.
NICE TRY, GUYS
What would I do for a Klondike Bar?
Today I've answered the question that's been burning in my mind for a long time. Exactly how many five year olds could I take on in an all out brawl?
Here are the rules:
- You are in an enclosed area roughly the size of a basketball court
- There are no weapons or foreign objects
- Everyone is wearing a cup (so no kicks to the groin)
- The children are merciless and will show no fear
- If a child is knocked unconscious, he is "out." The same goes for you.
Now I know beforehand when to hold'em or fold'em, as the great Mr. Rogers said (Kenny, not Fred). If I see that 23rd or 24th kid lurking in the shadows, I'm outta there. But 20 five year olds? Bring it on!!
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